i so fucking dont believe it. i really dont know what wrong with my mum.

i offered to cut my hair short today, just for the sole purpose of making her happy. and guess what? instead of being happy and thankful as most parents would, she instead asked me to pay. ITS SHE WHO WANTED IT SHORT, NOT ME! and she knows that i dont have any more cash this week, so i said fine, dont cut then. and she got angry because i din wanna cut. TELL ME! WHAT AM I TO DO!

she's just pissing me off. thinking she has control over us, we are to obey her instructions and lead lives like dogs, come on. to her, her dream kids are those who listen to their parents, everything they say and dont question. and do she realise, that those kids are those without a brain, without an opinion, and useless?! please, you are wrong sometimes too. and we're growing up. repeat, growing up. we need more freedom and allowance to do our things. you're not being nice by giving up that, its just natural. so stop thinking how great you have been treating up by just letting one of your rules-for-kids-under-6 be a little looser. there shouldn't even be such a rule IN THE FIRST PLACE! you think lah. if we were to find it sensible, would we not follow the rules ourselves??! do we look like we actually want to cause and find trouble for you? are we that.. i dont know, sick? do we really wanna argue with you, which wastes our time, AND get us into MORE shit with dad?

why cant you just accept it. accept that we are growing up. we are not those little idiots you had 7yrs ago, who studied under your command, and bathed at the lift of your tongue. we are not! you must let go. its now, or else it becomes too late, and you'll regret. cos we'll just go overboard when we do have it. ONLY THEN will you learn your lesson. ONLY THEN will you regret not doing what you should have done today. ONLY THEN you will agree with us, that you have been too ristricting. ONLY THEN, but only then is too late. you WILL pay the price.

you will regret all the fucked up attitude you have been giving me. you will realise that, i have had tried to be nice to you, but you just din see it when you were blinded by the hunger for control over us.

you never thought. what if i was worse. i can definitely be worse, not care whether you cook or not every dinner, not come home without telling you, not tell you where i am late in the night(which i will not tell from that day onwards, since i've realised that by doing so only results in me getting scolding), dont even bother bout my siblings, dont even care about my homework, proj and exams, etc. you never thought that i could be far worse than i am now. you only that there are better children out there. thats all. all you ever do is to compare someone better than me with me. why?! just to see how lousy, how inferior i am to them. WHY??! what pleasure does it give you?! why do you want to see that?! you aren't doing what a parent does. a parent is there to support the child, not to make the child feel bad and negative about themselves. but YOU DONT CARE. YOU DONT. all you care is about yourself, and how we as children would make good show-off's to your friends. we are not your possessions, we are not your trophys.

and i know. everytime you're angry with me, you'd treat glenn very well, so i'd feel bad. but i'm sorry, it doesn't work anymore after your tactic has been used for like, 10yrs?! please, i'm not as dumd as you think and claim i am. i've brains, but you dont see. you've a blind spot to what i'm good at, to what i put my ablities at. all you ever do, is to faithfully follow my exam results sheet like a bible. its now like a factsheet for the braincount and intelligence of a child.

please, grow up. be more mature would you. would i be able to get a wonderful job just by telling the boss that i got 6 points for my o's? nope. but it would get you the job if you were nice and hardworking and helpful. so, WHERE'S THE EXAM RESULTS SHEET AND WHAT THE FUCK IS IT FOR?! you have said more than 100 times that studying is impt. you make it seemt hat without education, we will die. now you tell me. have you used a single bit of trigonometry in closing you business deals? ever?! i highly doubt so. so WHAT HAS IT GOT TO DO! its the skill you learn, you moron. and you say, the better you study, the better you job you get. what fuck is that? let see who u'll hire.

p1: i got 6points for O's, 5dist for A's, and been to uni.

p2: i have past experience in this job, and my best record is closing 5 deals in 5 meetings within a week.

who the fuck would you choose?! 1 or 2?! you choose 2? WHY NOT 1?! HE GOT THE STUFF, THE POINTS, THE A'S.

and you keep saying we dont know how impt studying is, how whatever whatever. are we that dumb??! one of you son is in RI, and i am eligible to get into a JC with my score of O's. ARE WE THAT FREAKING DUMB? ARE YOU SPERMS REALLY THAT SUCKY THAT THEY PRODUCED SUCK FUCKING LOUSY OFFSPRINGS THAT THEY BRING NOTHING BUT DISGRACE AND IRRITANCE TO YOU LIFE, AND THAT WE CANT EVEN UNDERSTAND SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE REPEATED OVER AND OER AGAIN THROUGHOUT OUR LIVES?! you we that dumb? if you really think we are, continue repeating, cos we will never get it then. but if you think that we have the slightest intellect to be able to understand even a miniscule amount of shit you have been saying, then please, do stop. cos you'll not only be saving your breathe, your time, your effort, but also our lives.

fuck lah. i dont wanna call you all family anymore. its the same scenario again. me, alone at home, the rest of them out spending money and enjoying life like no ones business. and i'm NOT to say a shit. cos why?! i've no fucking say in this fucking hell.