its 5am. i have bball tmr at 9am. and i dun wanna sleep. why?

b'cos there's a lizard around, near, under, at my bed. i totally heard its mating call lah. disgusting. urgh.

see. so well maintained, fed, kept that they even have the mood to mate. disgusting.

sigh. maple's ramen has just increased from 4.5k to 12.5k. god knows how my mage will survive.

im very stressed. very very. but over nothing. at all. sigh.

*sniffs at the last few drops of absolut raspberry in the bottle which i brought home from chalet.*

i totally love the smell. i think vodka is a very nice drink. heh.

and i saw those small bottles in 7-11. so cute.

i dunno man. i seriously confused over my stand on love and relationships. both seem good, and bad, equal and at the same time. sucks.

argh. maybe i shouldn't think too much. single rocks, doesn't it?

okay it doesn't, occasionally. sighs. but its freedom. lalala.

sigh. my life is hopeless lah. i'm really aimless in life now. sigh.

my greatest wish now is that someone/some group of people will enter my life/remain in my life and really make me happy like i once was 2years back. to bring me back to me.

some people smile, because they love you.
some people smile, because they miss you.
some people smile, because they feel happy.
some people smile, because they want to thank someone.
some people smile, because its funny.
some people smile, because they want to make others smile.
some people smile, because they love their life.
i used to smile, because i was me.
i used to smile, even when i didn't want too.
i used to smile even when i cry.
i used to smile, i used to.

it was natural. now, its because of a funny joke, action, behavior etc. last time, i just did, all day. and it was not like i forced myself. it came from inside. my heart was smiling.

is life, all about laughter and joy.
is life, all about sorrow and pain.
will you cry, when i'm by your side
will you laugh, even if we turn sane?

i was shy, as you were sweet,
i looked at you, and my heart skipped a beat.
we finally felt, it was time to start,
as hands of mine, and yours we meet.

i said i'd be here for you, forever
you replied that i'd always be in your heart.
i was touched, and i was yours,
to the end, till death do us part.

blissful it was, you and me,
happiness, and more, that was what i felt.
i loved you much, sweet and nice,
or so i thought, when our hearts both melt.

but then came the bad, the love grew faint,
made way for rain, the sorrow and fear.
i tried hard, desperate to patch,
but u said no, my love you sear.

friends, there were, willing to hear,
but none to calm, and ease the soul within.
i wake up everyday, oh lord the pain,
what have i done, was it a sin?

i tried to move, on and away,
alas lonliness haunts, empty minds kills.
i cried for months, alone and unknown,
oh yes, it hurts, the pain this feels.

its a scar, the best it gets
not a recovery, a chance at all.
memory and experience, or so they call,
to prevent us from yet another fall.

its time to move on, we all do try
to divert attention, feelings and mind.
a normal life we want to live and breathe,
to restart everything, with friends all nice, loving and kind.

its a new life, for me at least
options a plenty, a choice i'll make.
single, for fun or a new true love,
i just hope, it won't be another mistake.