to some, devouring that irresistably sinful peice of cake may be happiness. to other, it may be when your dearest say those 3 magical words. then there's owning the latest Gallarado, or meeting the pop sensation you worship, from just plainly survivng the cyclone, to building your own successful empire. happiness, is all that is. happiness, is everything, everyone.
you know?
life sucks like fuck now.
but we dont achieve it. instead of the Spyder360, a cerfiro might be it. the piece of heavenly pastry might not be as worth it as the steamed bun next door. and sometimes, when you're the only on who made it through the storm, you find that you actually didn't want to be alive, without your loved ones.
i dont have anyone to talk to, anyone to smile to. when i just need someone, one person, to just be there.
and that's where our happiness changes. we accept less and be contented.
thats all i want.
everyone's had it. what's yours?
i hate being alone. i hate not having anything to do. i hate it when people have meetings and appointments and i dont. why?

i pondered. and i'd realise, that mine, from a dream of superfluous life filled with excitement and entertainment, after the key essence of time has been added to my portrait of life, the happiness i want, my happiness, is in fact, a life without any arguements, differences and 'end of relationships' with the people i know. as simple as that.
its tough living a life alone. when you're sad, you either write it down, or blog about it, or talk it out to the wall, or more likely than not, keep it inside. and it sucks. sooner or later, its breaking me down. why cant i find close friends? why are people like they are now? fake, untrustful, egoistic, and so many others. why cant i find someone, who will just sit down, and have a heart to heart chat. i love hearing stuffs too, not only ppl hearing mine out.

how happiness varies. even within one's self.

god damnit.