i swear i did not intend to see anything. all i was trying to find was my past 21 sketchings of the 21days after we ended, which i drew one everyday. alas, i couldnt find it. and my itchy hand found the gold book of memories.

i just opened, and saw the letters from yimei. all of them. darth vader, o levels, the cannot be opened till someday, and the fat think ones. i swear i heard you once again. your voice, you. it felt as if we never missed talking for the past 2years. or three. its sad, how we were once the best of friends, the closest senior and junior can be. and now, i dont even know where you are. or how are you. i read through abit, and i wonder. how was it that i had such a wonderful person in my life.

and here comes the worst part. my itchy hands managed to put all the letters back into the slot, but had to fumble with the two heart shaped unopened papers. i swore i knew i should never have touched it, much less open it. but the moment the first word came to sight, i quivered. and i cried. i really did not want to. but when someone who you loved so deep, and loved you as well, has left you with nothing but her own hand written letters, it isnt something within your control.

the first letter was sweet. if it was music, beethovan would have sounded like a blasting trumpet in a symphony compared to it. memoriable letter were always about something significant in the relationship. 1 month, 2 months or so. but this, was day 102 of it. no, 102 doesnt mean anything, for everyone who's wondering. but thats it. this is it. of all letters, ever. the most memoriable of all, would be a letter with no significance to it. it was sent from love. everyday was a special day. day 102. just like any other. the day with you.

yes, i have to stop my tears from ruining the paper.

the second, was our 4th month. i realised, where my love for red come from. i realised, that after two years. i have been using the same password over and over again. today, after looking through those precious words. i was enlightened of where the origin of my password was. it was all that simple.

i loved every kiss and every hug too.
and no, you're still beautiful. ever.

rest assured, these very words will follow me to my grave. i'll put my life on the line for these 2 paper hearts, anytime. even if i were to choose the last molecule of oxygen or a last glance at the letter, it wouldnt be a tough choice to make. with the last breath, i'll only hold regret. with a last look, i'll die contented.


then they say love is blind. i say, god is blind. i'll never forgive him for taking our eyes off each other.



argh. why does it have to happen now.