what happens when you collect rainwater in a bucket? the first days of rain, you get to start with a few dreadful drops that seem to not even matter. slowly, bit by bit, from rain here and there, during all times of day and night, the volume grows. it fills up, slowly, and surely. and surely as well, it will reach the top in time to come. the big hole, the opening. drop, drop. the water level rises, trickling higher and higher, closer and closer to the top. then the water pops, over the surface of the bucket, but still, nothing happens yet. but guess what, that final raindrop comes. plop. what happens?

now change that water into anger, frustration and whatnots. and that bucket is my tolerance level.

i'm not the kind who blows up over all small things, not even some major things if the situation is well managed. its like, a heavy rain doesn't always cause the bucket to overflow. however, drop by drop. the last drop need not be a downpour, but it strikes the cross.

and yes, i'm somewhere there now. there's never another time you'll see me having avenged sevenfold and bullet for my valentine screamos on repeat like how it is now. if there's a way to use a stringe and inject that into my brain like heroine into my veins, i'd do it. for reality, blasting it out loud to kill everything around me does fine.

nevertheless, i'm not the hardest person to please. maybe a little tiring, but no. definitely not the hardest. try calling, and asking "are you okay". three words can save the day. but nope. i'm still waiting for the first time you'll ever do that. all i need is a sound and logical solution which i can cheat myself to believe. how bout trying with a little concern? the last thing to do when i'm feeling fucked up is to disappear, to end now, and continue later. for a very good example, saying goodnight. you know what? that's *editted*, and it shows how little you actually bother about the situation. if something bothers you, it's only natural to think of it a little more than the breakfast you had yesterday. or the guys you meet everyday. which fyi, is something i NEVER want to know. that's for your besties to know, not me. i'm not fucking interested in guys you met. back to point, if you can ignore it, it plain shows that you prolly dont give a fuck at all.

so if you dont give a fuck about me, say. and more than happily, i'll thank you for *editted*. and yes, all these arent really big problems/hates. but, it's the 331st ml in your regular coke can. that extra drop which tipped everything else.

dont ever say you like me, and not show it. it IS *editted*. in its utter, purest form.

reasons for editting : because i want to.